Talking in life. Part of the school

Talking about a puzzling situation, it reminded me of an incident when I was in high school. I was torn between the thought of dropping out from school or continue with the stressful moments of high school. Having great friends in school was an enjoyable thing for me because we could share our stories and our possible fate after high school. It is a hard thing to handle if a person loses such friends who had a common goal in life. Part of the school requirement was that students should work hard on improving their academic grades to avoid the consequences of being dismissed from the institution. With repeated cases of failure, some of my best friends were dismissed from the school. This unbelievable consequence subjected me into an endless state of thinking without getting a sound solution. I was left as if I was in an empty room despite a close association with the other students. Making new friends was not an easy thing because I did not believe I would be left alone. Back in school, no teacher was concerned even if the students were subjected to a similar situation as mine. Day by day, the level of stress in me was building up and this translated to lack of attention in class work. I started losing self-confidence and life was becoming meaningless to me. In many cases, my friends used to motivate me especially in studying towards a fruitful career. They use to share with me wonderful stories of some of their close relatives and family members who have studied and achieve the best in their careers. This became a difficult situation in life because no one intervened to ease my stress. I even thought to quit school but it was not easy for me to tell my parents. The belief in myself was vanishing away. A month later, I noticed that my health was no longer the same. I was not able to point out exactly what I was suffering from. I began performing poorly in my class assignments, not like before when I used to perform very well. No teacher asked me what the problem was and things seemed right in their eyes. When every night approached, my mind switches to several thoughts. I was no longer thinking about my friends but the fate of my life. The main reasons were the fear of unknown and fear of dying. The next day in class, the fear to be noticed took over. I felt like the other students could tell and ask me what was wrong. I kept on forcing smiles in class but nothing could be hidden. The level of stress had cut my weight and this was noticeable. This stressed me further. Through my external reading, I came across an article that highlighted health effects of stress. Every time I thought about this article, the words “stress” and “death” echoed in the back of my mind. From time to time, I figured it out how stress eventually began to take its toll on me. I had stayed secretive for quite some time in school, not even disclosing what I was going through with my new friends. Everyone in class could notice that I was not the same again and I was physically and emotionally damaged. Back in my mind, I had some thoughts that I should go and see a counsellor since no one in school could help me. The emotional pain was becoming worse and I was not concentrating in class anymore. During the entire period of stress, two thoughts were constantly coming into my mind. I thought that if stress would continue building up as it was, then there was a high possibility of being admitted in the hospital for stress related illness. This would have not allowed me to live my life as I was aspiring. On the other hand, if I did not disclose this to anyone, I would just live for a short possible lifetime. I had opted to continue living with my stresses, but I never wanted to take a chance and live the rest of my life miserably. Ending with pain, my physical and emotional distress led me to my breaking point. I critically thought and finally I decided to disclose it to my friends and one of the teachers about what had been happening to me. The teacher was so worried and he asked me why was I so secretive. He told me that I made the right decision in sharing the problem with him. After all this, the teacher advised me that I should go and see a counsellor. He made arrangements and in the following day, I was given a permission to go and see a medical counsellor in the nearby hospital facility. After stress assessment, the counselor reported that I had an increased depression. He cited that the chronic stress that I developed wore me down emotionally but the good thing is that it can be managed very well. I was also prescribed stress management tablets and it helped me so much. Looking back at this situation, I believe that I made the right decision. It taught me that a quality life is achieved through sharing our problems and critically thinking to arrive at better solution to a problem. I would still be in a miserable state or even would have died, if I kept things to myself and not tried to resolve the problems. In my capacity now after passing through that situation, I can proudly stand and help other people who have stress management issues.